my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
