It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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