Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
