i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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