some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
