Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You made out with two different species that night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
They took my balls.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
