just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
