Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
