yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
