No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
