hotel room ftw
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
