You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
