I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
