So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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