Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
As shirtless as possible
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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