Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
