I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My cat gives me a boner
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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