he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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