Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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