i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
