I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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