Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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