marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
