And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
