Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
