wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
