Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
