My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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