just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
