need another drink. this is the easiest way
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
