He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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