her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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