you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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