Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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