I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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