My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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