i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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