Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
