He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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