It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We have started to decorate penises.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
