he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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