im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish you could order shots online.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
