We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
