Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize