Sponge bath it is.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
