i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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