i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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