Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
