she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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