i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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