So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
