You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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